by Stanley Azuakola
Another The Scoop week has flown by quickly. Hope you had fun reading the pieces as we had preparing them.
To recap, here are our top 7 clicked stories. In case you missed any, find out why lots of readers were clicking these pieces. Cheers.
Yes, I know I am not quite the type to indulge in the amala politics of my hometown, Lagos Island. I’d bring a table fork to the table, I’d insist we divide the portion and not all delve in at once, but see I’m being short sighted, I’m sure the list of politicians who returned home from the diaspora is quite a long one? Men who’ve had many a bowl of amala served and did not once make the mistake of pulling out a fork. Amala is sweetest when you dive in, its palatability enhanced when the fingers meet the lips, no? So, if getting involved in the rough and tumble is what appeals, one’s hands would have to be washed and ready.
Reno Omokri has got a very difficult job.
Effectively, he’s got to say the opposite of what the reality is and try to sound sane at the same time. He’s got to qualify the President with positive adjectives in the face of an ever-increasing negative public perception. He’s also got to try to convince a vibrant and well-informed social media audience that they’re wrong and his principal is right. Reno’s job title reads Special Assistant to the President on New Media but in reality, he doesn’t need such a long and descriptive job title when only two words suffice: fall guy.
“How come they don’t see that we are the luckiest people on earth, so lucky in fact that our president is called Goodluck. The only other nation that comes close is Thailand, whose president is called Yingluck. But Good is better than Ying, of course. Why can’t they see that our president is one of the best dressed in the world, always standing out at international events? Or that our president is the president with a Christ-like heart, dining with ex-convicts and criminals? Why can’t they announce that our Petroleum Minister, Diezani Allison-Madueke, is one of the hottest female ministers in the world? Or that we have the most sense-making Information minister in the planet? These are laudable achievements but they’ll never report it.”
I searched Google and found a casual mention of photography in the Official Secrets Act of 1962. This law allows the President of Nigeria to, “during any period of emergency” prohibit the photography of anything designed for defence purposes without his written permission. The law is pretty clear about the circumstances under which it is illegal to take a photograph and such circumstances include a period of emergency and the design of defence. I shall return to this point shortly.
If a derivation fund of N7.28tn can’t fix the oil producing region, where its politicians with bad roads shuttle in private jets, will another 10% deducted from oil funds coming to the oil producing community solve it? Would increasing the derivation fund to 50% ever fix it? The entire country of Ghana has a budget with revenue of $6.3bn and the funds into the South-South accounts for close to $6.6bn. So why haven’t they been able to sit down to properly fix their power infrastructure for years?
Abati however cast doubts about Odewale’s claim that they were only taking pictures at the wind mill. The presidential spokesman said: “The police also have a duty. Egghead and Ibrahim were taking pictures of locations that had implications for national security and foreign relations.”
On Twitter, in response to a question after the release of Odewale and Ibrahim, Abati had this to say, “Don’t be stupid. He and his colleague were not taking pictures of a windmill. Ask dem to tell you the truth. They’re out.”
At this juncture, I believe I’m on point if I declare that elected Nigeria’s (Bayelsa particularly) leaders are promoted above their highest level of mental capacity, because with the huge revenue from Federal Government, there’s no reason why Bayelsa should still be ranked as one of the poorest states in Nigeria.
That’s it. Let’s do it again next week.