by Nana Nwachukwu
Most of us danced, jumped and hugged when the Super Eagles conquered at the AFCON Finals by slapping down the Burkinabes. Some did not dance or jump or hug, I know, but like I said, most of us did.
Two things that give me joy in being Nigerian are that despite the sour situations around us, we always find a way to be happy… and we are very forgetful. Believe me; those two help in keeping us sane.
We move with the heat of the moment. We are very passionate and energetic. We are momentarily prone to radical opinions while the heat is on. Remember the Super Chickens and their stupid coach? Ah! They brought the cup back. Yeah, same ones!
Now did I mention that we are forgetful? (I am showing the traits already)…
We forgot that Babangida was once called the evil genius but who cares, he is out of power. Remember that dude in army briefs who wore dark shades like D’banj does now? Yeah, Abacha! That’s him. Heard he looted billions. His lawyer son ran for governorship and EFCC mentioned they got the loot but somehow the loot got tired of sitting in one place and just upped and left. You know one dude was killed with a letter bomb right? Yeah, the nosy journalist… Dele Giwa. Did they ever find out who did that? Bola Ige went too right? Sad sad…let’s keep investigating.
You know that woman who sells fruit by Uzuakoli road that was carried by Operation SARS men? Did you say who? Of course, you would not know. She is a ‘nobody’. I heard they were about 15 that day.
Now you know the strong man of PDP politics Baba Iyabo was the messiah from prison sent to cage democracy in 1999? Dude became so rich that he had his own legal henchmen. He called them EFCC. (Remember the recovered loots?) 2+2=5 right? Smart one you are! Now we cannot ask him how far.
Now what about the generation of Nigeria’s legit Wrestling club? They call them NASS. Oh! You did not hear? Those that could not be recycled became activists twisting the arms of the incumbent looters for more funds to sustain their lifestyles.
The calm looters in State houses that were not returned nko? Most ran away to foreign countries to enjoy their foreign money. One was in such a rush that he landed into a foreign jail. My name is James Onanefe Ibori and I am a criminal. Awesome!
Remember the man who wore the longest wig in the learned field and told the longest unbelievable lies? They pardoned him and now he is out with posters. My name is Micheal Aondoakaa, vote me as Governor Benue State.
This list is too long! This is just an abstract to the main piece. I will finish it as soon as I get back from Bayelsa State. I need to go pay homage to the main paale of Riverine politics, Chief Diepreye Alamiesegha. I need to show him some love. After all, it’s Valentine period. Ah, I’ll keep my wrappers and skirts under lock and key. He likes those a lot.
I told you, Nigerians forget… a lot.