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Yomi Kazeem: Matters (are)rising


Yomi Kazeem: Matters (are)rising

by Yomi Kazeem

Thou shall not steal a VIP phone

In the early 2000s when the GSM influx began, Kevin Igha Ighodalo must have been an excited man. He too, like the rest of Nigeria, must have been thrilled at the prospects of mobile communication made easy. Little did he know, that a decade on, the GSM craze would turn out to be his nemesis.

An Osun State High court, on Monday, sentenced him to a prison term of 45 years without the option of a fine for stealing a mobile phone as far back as November 2010. It was no ordinary phone either as it belonged to Rauf Aregbesola, Osun State Governor. Before you begin to highlight the use(lessness) of our judiciary, please know that Kevin was not a regular phone thief. Unlike most, he did not try to sell the ‘VIP phone’ off at our famous Computer Village, instead he reportedly tried to impersonate the governor who calls himself ‘Ogbeni’ with intent to defraud at least two men, one of whom was Oba Gabriel Adekunle Aromolaran,the Owa-Obokun of Ijesaland. Kevin will end only up serving only 10 years as his prison sentence(s) for a six-count charge will be served concurrently.

A few hundred miles away from Osun, in Abuja, another man in court not for stealing but for ‘receiving’, Farouk Lawan, is doing his best to avoid ending up in a cell like Kevin. Lawan, charged alongside his famous cap, for corruption and bribery has had an application filed by his defence counsel to, wait for it…. quash all charges brought against him. Farouk wants the $600,000 dollar mess and the cap jokes to go away. Will he get his wish? He will find out the ruling of the court on his application on May 10. In the meantime, he’s praying that Justice Mudashiru Oniyangi wakes up on the right side of the bed on the said date.

And talking about dates, is anyone looking forward to 2020? Well, we should be. According to this, it will take Nigeria until 2020 before it can boast of power output of 9000MW. This is confusing because the President’s forecast in 2010 was totally different. In fact, it was so different that it set output targets for the end of this year at 10,000MW and for 2020 at 40,000MW. Dear readers, it is not my wish to confuse you but it is clear that one of the two accounts is wrong, maybe even both. My advise to all and sundry is simple: Love your generators as yourself.

In some circles, General Muhammadu Buhari is well-loved and the serial Presidential candidate has announced that his love affair with the presidential candidacy will continue in 2015 in the All Progressives Congress. So there you have it folks, Buhari will contest again; but then, I suspect I have not told you something you didn’t already know.

– Follow this writer on Twitter: @TheYomiKazeem

Yomi's favourite words are 'Up Nepa'- blame PHCN. He is afraid of heights but once climbed to the summit of a mountain 12, 000 feet above sea level. Away from writing, he's a soccer pundit on radio. He's also an entrepreneur with empire building dreams. The results in that regard have been mixed so far. He blames Arsenal FC for everything wrong with the world and hopes their trophy drought lasts forever.

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