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Makua Eyisi: We are all in this together: The parable of the woman who wanted more


Makua Eyisi: We are all in this together: The parable of the woman who wanted more

by Makua Eyisi

Few years ago, a lady got married to a man she considered the best of all her suitors. But shortly after, it felt like a huge mistake.  The sex was terrible. Yes, the man occasionally bought her clothes and some times, he looked like the man she’d married; the answer to her lifelong prayers. But just as suddenly, he relapses into a disappointment. He stopped caring for her and barely gave her any attention. He was so weak and cowardly that greedy people he knew came into their home and left with her treasures.

At least he ensured there was food in the house though. And so she felt she could keep up with him. But in her heart she knew she wanted more. She needed to feel like a woman. She needed to soar. Her ‘more’ was justified by the fact that some of her friends had gone on to have beautiful homes and were shining in their fields of expertise.

Another man came along, promising to be better to her, to care for her and support her to achieve her potentials. He promised awesome sex and better enjoyment in marriage. The man promised her paradise and she began to see even more clearly how insufficient her husband was. Some people who knew this new man cried out in loud voices telling her to manage the weak lamba from her husband because this new man would only add misery to her life.

But she needed a new experience, so she divorced her husband and married the new man. He turned out to be all people said he was.

Great sex, he was not giving. Now, the woman also stayed hungry in his house and had no clothes even. Every attempt to cry out for help was met with violence. Those people who warned her earlier came with ‘We told you so’ tag. Some even began to suggest she went back to her ex-husband.

People like me are asking her: Just because your current husband is worse than the former, does it make the former what you deserve? Does the shortcomings of your current husband invalidate the rationality in you seeking a new experience? Do you owe those who advised you against your choice any apology? No!

Dear Lady, you deserve the best in life – a loving husband, a comfortable home, great sex, support to fulfil your potentials, everything. And you shouldn’t stop changing husbands until you find the perfect one or one close to perfect.

However, your system of choosing should change. Your criteria should improve. Raise the standard.

Take a closer look at who the next husband is. Don’t attack the people who are against your choice. Don’t dismiss them as haters. Listen to what they have to say. They have points to make. Check the next suitor’s track record. Do not ignore the few red flags. Expose them to your family structures for proper checks and balances. Accountability should be your watchword.

You talk about Buhari’s failures like Jonathan was the best thing that happened to Nigeria after Jollof rice. You claim the youths and other Nigerians didn’t give Buhari power and how ethnic the last election was. You obviously have forgotten how we stood for Jonathan and ensured his victory but he had to give it away to someone who had been defeated for about three times.

How can you even demand apology from people who supported Buhari in the last elections? Humour me please. If you had so much powers, you would have wielded it enough to ensure Jonathan won. Now, Buhari has failed so far and you are here to tell those who supported Buhari ‘I told you so’. Lol. Ngwanu clap for yourself. Take a medal of The Prophet/ Prophetess General of Nigeria. Maybe you have another country. Maybe inflation affects Buhari supporters only.

We shall keep voting and changing our leaders even as we strive to strengthen our institutions. Mediocre is not an option. Keep ‘telling me so’ while I keep holding Buhari and other leaders to account, and hoping and working for the best.

We shall keep praying and working and one day, great leaders will come by choice or fate. Sooner or later.  

Nigerians deserve the best.  

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